Matrimony

So, I found out today that one of friends that was engaged until recently called it off. I'm kind of glad for him, because I think it might have been a rather unhappy marriage. Which of course leads me back to a topic that's been on my mind for awhile. Do I want to get married someday or not? There are benefits and struggles either way. With a husband (or long-term boyfriend), you have to put up with another person in your space. Living alone, you have to put up with yourself in your space, which can be just as hard. I suppose it's rather a moot point at the moment, since my chances of finding a husband any time soon are next to nil...but being female it does cross my mind occasionally. I wonder if I'm capable of living alone for the rest of my life...

Happy Times

Salad Fingers. Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles. MSN conversations. Friends. Food. How to be a Villian. Scarborough Fair. Lame Christmas presents. Messy Kitchen. No homework. Asian fabric. Peter Pan. Coffee. Tea. Cake. Death. Eddie Izzard. Cats. No snow. Alcohol. Cigarettes. Japan. Dice. Smash Brothers. Candles. Physical Intimacy. Adolescent style crush. These are just a few of the things that have made my week. "Make me think happy times." Sometimes life is beautiful for the most bizarre reasons.

*Twitch*

There is a kind of twitchiness. A personal twitchiness. Where you need loud music and a gentle type of violence. Well, maybe gentle is the wrong word, more of a mild violence. It's kinda like being hyper, except it's frusterating, especially if you don't have any outlet for the extra energy. It at times like this that make my worst social blunders. My energy level is almost out of control. Bleh. I think I'll go take a walk. It's cold outside, should calm me right down. ^_^

Angst

I'm currently in the throes of a serious bout of teenage angst. The world is an unfriendly place, everyone hates me, and nothing will ever get better. Just your average complaints. I'm alone right now, and so I'm running on a feedback loop that just amplifies the problem. I need human contact, but no one's around. This, right here, is why I don't want to live alone when I grow up. The idea scares me. And, of course, on nights like tonight I am convinced that I am doomed to live alone, and that no other course of action is open to me. Of course no man will ever love me. I am a defective human being. I am unpleasant to be with and entirely unattractive. Everyone that knows me is laughing behind my back. Do you see my problem? None of this is true (at least to my knowledge), but I still believe it enough to base my current mood on it. Damn. Well, in the immortal words of our current youth, 'this sucks.'