*^_^*

And that's all I have to say about it.

The Stars of Ifrit

Recently, thanks to my roommate and her new fiance, I've been thinking a lot about the idea of love; what it is, how you acquire it, and such questions. I came up with the following:

Stage 1 - Attraction
Something or other makes you notice another person, something about the way they look, or how they talk, or the things they say, or even just hormones. You look a second or third time, and think "I'd like to meet that person." Or, if you're rather more bold than me, you go and meet them. This stage usually continues for awhile, though the getting to know them stage. You go out of your way to be able to spend time around them, you find interest in every single thing they say, and so on. This will continue until a confession, either one-sided or mutual. If the confession is one-sided, you'll probably avoid them out of embarrasment, and look for someone else... but if the confession is mutual, you progress to stage two:

Stage 2 - Giddiness/Infatuation
This is where most relationships start. You've just found out that the person you like has feelings for you too. Suddenly, you're 'in love' and it's spring, and every steriotypical thing you can think of that relates to the idea of being in love. You spend all or most of your time with this person, and the time you don't spend with them, you usually spend talking about them, which makes you generally horrible company for everyone else. In a way, it's one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. You feel more alive than you thought was possible, you feel complete, you feel like you could face anything in the world, if this person was beside you. You also gloss over, or don't even see, the person's downfalls and shortcomings. You're a complete idiot. You throw caution and common sense to the wind, and follow your heart, which just happens to be under the influence of a mind affecting drug. Many people get engaged. Of course, I am exaggerating a little bit, not everyone looses their head completely, but judgement is always impaired. Unlike what some story-tellers and poets would have you believe, this heightened state of emotion can't (and shouldn't) last forever. One day, you'll finally wake up, and one of two things will happen... either you realize that all those things you'd been ignoring are actually driving you up the wall with irritation, and that you can't wait to be rid of this person (and usually find a way to be rid of them), or you're able to move on to stage three:

Stage 3 - Love
Here is the stuff that's real, that lasts. At some point in your relationship, you're going to realize that your partner is an irritating sonofabitch. And if, at this point, your relationship isn't built on anything more than infatuation, then it will crumble. This is where I've always failed or fallen short. I've never really made past stage two. I'm not actually sure what other things it has to be built on, but I'm trying desperately to find out. But that aside. this stage, true love, is what the legends are made off. Everyone has their own way of describing this emotion, and even the emotion itself seems to vary from person to person, so all I can present here is my own idea of what love is. When you love someone, you would do anything for them... which unfortunately means picking up the dirty dishes they left in the living room more often than risking your life for them. You want to spend lots of quality time with them... and in a great display of practical thinking decide that being in the same room while doing different things counts as quality time. You could never imagine fighting or quarelling with the person you love... except for that spirited debate that pops up every week or so about who's job it is to clean the bathroom (and that time they really pissed you off by looking at you wrong). The way I see it, love is the truest and closest friendship you can have. It doesn't require romance or passion (though I'm sure those would be fun to throw in occasionally), just mutual trust, respect, and fondness. And a lot of time. You can't form a friendship this deep overnight, it can take years. Long enough, at least, that every movement and facial expression of theirs is second nature to you, and you don't have to ask if they've had a hard day. Of course, you do ask anyway, to give them the opportunity to vent about it. That's love.

I don't really like the idea that it may take years to actually love a person, but I've found that mistaking infatuation for love is something I like even less. So this time I'll watch where I'm going carefully, because love is worth being patient for.

As for my roommate and her fiance... I think they're just infatuated with each other. >_<

Fall

I love this time of year. The sky is grey, and the trees are brilliant shades of red, green, and yellow. Today I walked down a street with straight rows of Maple trees in the height of their color, and it felt like I was walking into a painting. It was the most beautiful contrast with the dark sky that I could ever hope for. I was very happy to be alive today.